What {Secondary} Infertility Feels Like

Pain. Ache. Empty. Incomplete. Confused. Alone. Abandoned. Forgotten. Unloved. Despaired. Angry. Bitter. Helpless. Hopeless.

Broken.

Today is a bad day.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Prayer: A Pointless Endeavor

Hey! Cynical me, here. I know anyone who reads this will likely disagree and that’s ok. My opinion won’t be a popular one, but I’m not in a caring mood today.

Prayer is pointless. There. I said it. And I really think it’s true with every fiber of my being. You’re not going to change God’s mind. You’re not going to change the future. I appreciate when people tell me they’re praying for me{us}. I really do. It’s because THEY think it does good and that’s really all they can do for us. That’s their way of helping and I love that people care enough to do it. And I love them for it. Do I think their prayer will actually be effective? Absolutely not. Prayer doesn’t solve problems. Prayer doesn’t cure infertility. Neither does church. Or reading a book. Or wearing/not wearing certain things. Or drinking/not drinking certain things. Or believing/not believing certain things. Things are the way the are and people who will murder their unborn children will continue to get pregnant while people who would make {and do make} amazing parents will never get pregnant. God doesn’t and won’t intervene.

So what’s the point of it? He doesn’t care enough to listen. Why should I even try?

I Made a Dress

So Cody bought me a sewing machine a while back. Maybe, like, a year ago? I have made all of one blanket with it. I just have never made the time. I decided to FINALLY put that sucker to good use and made a pillowcase dress for McKenna. I know, I know. Can’t get much easier than that, right? Well, I need easy. I’ve not taken any classes or watched any YouTube videos on the subject. I did follow an easy tutorial. It was a lot of fun!! The hardest part, I thought, was the armhole situation. I mean, come on. I’m so green that sewing a straight line is a challenge. You want me to sew a circle?? It did turn out great, though, I think. Can’t wait to do another one!! {She posed for me which gave me a chance to photograph the dress AND play some with my new Canon 35mm 1.4L lens! BONUS!}